Sunday, April 29, 2012

Sadness creeps IN!!

Day turns to night, day after day, week after week.  You're laying in bed and you realize sadness has crept in! It makes you ache, it makes you sick, it makes you feel alone and afraid.  Why do I let this happened- DEPRESSION- its' been a silent struggle I've struggled with since I could remember.
The difference between the past and the presence is that I've chosen to rip the mask of manipulation off and now share in my struggle. I will not lie. I will not deceive.
I know I am fearfully and wonderfully made; I know God's kindness, and mercy is forever.  As I rage in the battle, as the stronghold overwhelms me, I begin to crawl to the feet of the one who offers the redeeming love, and peace. Its not enough for me as I can not get there quick enough on my own. The shame and guilt get in the way. I am not worthy.

Ephesians 6:11-18
"Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. 12For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. 13Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. 14Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, 15and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. 16In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. 17Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. 18And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints."

When we run away from God's promises, his presence and his will for our lives; we will be engulfed in despair.  We will wrestle with our own wills, our own control, and our own strength ultimately falling short every time

Romans 3:24
"For we all fall short of the glory of God"

Romans 8:18
"Consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us."

Psalm 27:1
"The LORD is my light and my salvation--whom shall I fear? The LORD is the stronghold of my life of whom shall I be afraid"

Our fears, worries, burdens are to casted upon Jesus we shall fear nothing
1 Peter 5:7
"Cast  all your anxiety on him because he cares for you"
Ephesians 3:12

"Because of Christ and our faith in him, we can now come boldly and confidently into God's presence"

Psalm 40:11
" Do not withhold your mercy from me, O LORD; may your love and your truth always protect me"
God help me to trust in you, remaining in you!! Help me to not only crawl to you, but help me to get up and run confidently and boldly into your presence.. I am not worthy, but you love ME!! I set my hope in you as you are the everlasting God.  Whom shall I FEAR??

1 comment:

  1. Shawna, I understand where you are. Know that you are not alone. I am praying for you and will be there to support you and help you through if you want. Also know that this is not your fault and it is not sin. So many times well meaning people in the church have said that if I had enough faith I wouldn't be depressed. That is simply not true. I have also been told that if I allowed God to be in charge then I wouldn't be depressed. Again, not true. The truth is that God created you with emotions - all of them - and He sees no single emotion as bad. The truth is that regardless of the depth of your faith or devotion, sometimes people get depressed. You have had more than enough life upheaval in this last year. Reach out to those around you who understand and we will stand with you and help you hold tight to Him.