Tuesday, August 14, 2012

     



      So last year was my first year that we home schooled.  I had such an array of emotions, but mostly afraid.  I was afraid of failing, or letting my kids down.  I was afraid of " not succeeding" for fear that we wouldn't live up to the standards that have been set forth in such a "worldly" environment. 
We live in society that views education almost as an idol.. It wouldn't be so bad, however most people want to know what degree you have as if the better degree you have would qualify you to contribute to society... AS IF!!
Nonetheless we get caught up in the waves of judging as if we would drown in the sea of success if we did not compare ourselves with the majority of others..

Romans 12:2 - And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what [is] that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.


     Back in April I went to a home school convention.  I thought for sure after having the experience of one year under my belt I would have peace about picking the curriculum that I would choose for the children.  After hours upon hours of workshops and listening to others as they spoke passionately about their choices I began to wonder why I didn't have such peace.  After all, I am passionate about my decision... after much consideration and deliverance!!  I began to panic; I had assumed that by going to such convention I would walk away being prepared, organized and ready to conquer another year of school.  As the day went on I became overwhelmed, I no longer could soak up any more information and I began to wonder what I was really doing.  At the moment I ran into a lady (who knew this would be the beginning of an hour long conversation?  Or a divine appointment from the Lord.  You see God had used this lady to be his mouth. I had accepted the call, and thought I would be willing to obey God in his decision for these children.. I just couldn't let go all of the control.  My eyes were blinded to that.  Even though I claimed God was in the center of our homeschooling, there was still a sensitive topic to be addressed. 
ASSURANCE- assurance of knowing that God had control of the situation and I needed the faith and trust to let go and let him be in charge.  I guess I figured if I was going to home school then the very least I can do is choose curriculum that others had heard about so it would be one less thing I felt I had to defend. Or choose one that worked wonderfully for families who had been home schooling for years as that was tried and true. The funny thing is, is that I had spent a lot of time, and energy researching and implementing my own things, because in my heart I knew what we were doing did not match the learning styles of each of my children.  We spent many hours "trying" to catch up, and frankly wasted a lot of time working in vein because of it.  What I was doing is asking God to be in charge of the situation but not fully relinquishing my part of it so that he could work in us and through us. I also believe that it is our jobs to instill in our children godly character.  I began with that standard but at some point lost it when I was playing "catchup" There were many days we would get through our BIBLE, as if going through the motions, to say we had accomplished it. After all, I had math, science, history, reading, spelling, english and health to teach!!
Back to the lady I spoke of... So our conversation started, again I was completely overwhelmed. My question to her was.. Of the two most popular Math curriculum's which one did she favor? (after all I thought I needed her opinion, at the time) Her response puzzled me, as she choose neither.. After an hour of talking with her, I could feel my confidence coming back. The lady, the veteran of homeschooling, had such wisdom that I was completely blessed to have been given the information.    She took the time to answer all my questions, relieving some of my stress.. And the best thing about the afternoon had yet to come.  Little did I know, I would find myself in a corner ruffling through some books on a bookshelf to find a book that would give insight as to how our family needed to "do school"  It was a book that had time-earned secrets of fifty veteran homeschooling families. I opened it up to this saying...
"The confidence I have is not in myself, nor in books. it  is assurance in the Lord and His direction.  The pleasant results others observe in my children are fruits of their relationship to Christ. These things I learned the hard way after misplacing my reliance onto methods and curriculum, rather than on the light of God's Word......... Be still and know that I am God.. another psalm came to mind..... Show me your ways, O Lord; teach me your path.  Guide me in your truth and teach me. My hope is in you all day long..... My heart was pierced as he revealed to me the futility of my human efforts  I had  been maneuvering Him carefully into my plans.  I had been hurrying along on my time table, not waiting for His leading. How could I have received counsel from the Lord under those limitations?"

This was written by a lady named Camilla Leedahl and these were EXACTLY my words of my heart and what I WAS going through!!! (I want to meet her...)

Another passage I read... (I could not put the book down) by Steve and Jane Claire Lambert
"As we began the homeschooling experience, we were so easily overwhelmed by the pressure to produce academic achievement that we often lose perspective, focusing on the daily ups and downs instead of enjoying the journey.......The criticism of our culture and the concern of well-intentioned friends and family only fed the flames of our own anxieties"

  WHAT!! Immediately I prayed and asked God to reveal to me the path that he had predestined for me in regards to homeschooling, and for spiritual discernment and wisdom!! I left the convention with a different outlook on what I had believed I was to do for my children in this upcoming year....

 Lessons I had learned that day were the following:

1) Do not compare my children with other children, or my family with other families
 "Pay careful attention to your own work, for then you will get the satisfaction of a job well done, and you won't need to compare yourself to anyone else" (Galatians 6:4)
2) It is not my wisdom that I must rely on but God's wisdom, direction and guidance
"Show me your ways, O LORD, teach me your paths" (Psalm 25:4)

3) Calm down!!
 "Be still, and know that I am God" (Psalm 46:10)

4) Trust in the LORD!!
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight" (Proverbs 3:5-6)

                                                      ****So I am changing it UP****
                            Confessions of a "soon to be second year" home school MOM....

Math.....
                                                                           
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2 comments:

  1. Wow, that was great, Shawna. Wish I had heard the WHOLE story sooner :o)Chelsea

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  2. Great stuff here...keep up the work that God has placed before us....We are an example to many and all watch as our journey unfolds...Let's just keep being obedient to God and we have NOTHING to fear...Let ALL of our critics take grievances up with God.....If they dare....It is he that has us on the path we're on!....X/O/X/O....Mike

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