This day is a different kind of thanks... It comes with affliction and tears.. Although I know God is still in control I fight it with all my might!
I am in agonizing pain. I want to be joyful but I find myself wallowing in self pity. I want my focus to be on the Lord but I can't help but wonder what, why and how????
I hate the pain... I hate the feeling guilty.... but mostly I hate not having my focus on the Lord...
I have nothing to offer in this blog today other than my open heart.....
God, I trust you and If I must go through this pain I pray for grace to show me how to get through it.
I love being a blessing for others and I hate that I am in a state to where I can't give right now. Lord show me how I can focus on you through this excruciating pain. I know you have a purpose that I am unaware of.. .But your thoughts and ways are not my thoughts and ways... I am overwhelmed with fear and anxiety as our reliance of insurance is no more... I struggle with my own lack of discipline...
however my hope and trust is in you...... I know that you are with me.... For all of this I am THANKFUL for a loving, merciful God, that even when I feel not worthy of his grace; he gives it abundantly!!!!!
"And we[b] boast in the hope of the glory of God. 3 Not only so, but we[c] also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; 4 perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5 And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us"
1 Peter 4:12-16
The Message (MSG)
12-13 Friends, when life gets really difficult, don’t jump to the conclusion that God isn’t on the job. Instead, be glad that you are in the very thick of what Christ experienced. This is a spiritual refining process, with glory just around the corner.