Thursday, May 9, 2013

I DON'T WANT TO!!!!!

In a small whisper this morning I hear the Lord speak.. He urges me to write my blog....
" BUT, wait I can't I am going through the FIRE right now.....  remember???"
Gently He urges, and so are other people.... REMEMBER!

When I agreed to blog it was not because I was a great writer, or that I had wonderful advice to give... It was to allow God to use me while we were traveling through our JOURNEY... In our journey we have good times, bad times, fun times, sad times and yes.... the times when we feel as if we are going through the fire... I am not to choose when I write but when I am prompted by the Holy Spirit.... Oh there are so many times when I enjoy writing this blog and others times, I fret the entire time I am typing.... THIS IS ONE OF THOSE TIMES!!! If it were up to me, I would still be hiding in my corner!!


                                                           "SEASONS"

We all go through seasons in our lives. Seasons of learning, growing, suffering, persevering, healing, peace, harvest to name a few....     With each season we hope we can learn from the experience, situation or circumstances that we go through. When we first moved out here while we were in a season of learning, we also went through a season of relative ease. I think it was necessary as we had made a huge leap of faith. God wanted to show us that we Could TRUST HIM!! As the seasons shifted, as they do, we found ourselves growing through suffering and persevering through the physical pain of my back. There has been much needed healing with my back.. Praise GOD!! But a few months ago I went through a season of spiritual dryness. During this time, the enemy tried to convince me that I was alone. I was exhausted and tired. I had nothing left to give. All the while I was desperately trying to find things "to fix" the problem. However, the reality was I needed to slow down and re-evaluate what was in my life. As I moved through that season of my life I entered a calm before a season of spiritual warfare which I am currently in.      My spirit and flesh are fighting every day as I have been shattered over losses I have endured. Sometimes we are so addicted to our strongholds we cant see the freedom, so we hang on even if we hate them. In the last few weeks my emotions have gone from being saddened, hurt, shocked, frustrated, angry, disbelief, SHOCK and now sadness.. My flesh wants to scream out how right I am in situations. My flesh wants to shout out on a mountain top that a situation is all a misunderstanding.  My flesh wants desperately to prove that my friendship is worthy and valued. My flesh does not want to go through the pain and rejection. As a child I was abandoned, & rejected.  I learned to deal with the pain by becoming what people wanted in me.  Oh, it was so easy to become a "people pleaser" But slowly God stripped me from this.  As hard as it was to overcome we are not to serve two masters... Matthew 6:24 "No one can serve two masters. Either you will hate the one and love the other, or you will be devoted to the one and despise the other. But the spirit wants me to give up this right.... Matthew 5:21-24 “Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift. In the end it isn't about ME...."When my hope is gone, when the fear is strongWhen the pain is real, when it's hard to healWhen my faith is shaken and my heart is broken and my joy is stolen,God I know you lift me up"KARI JOBE
Proverbs 13:20 "He who walks with the wise grows wise, but a companion of fools suffers harm Psalm 1: 1-3 "Blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked or stand in the way of sinners or sit in the seat of mockers, But his delight is in the law of the Lord and on his law he mediates day and night"Proverbs 27:17 "As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another"1 Corinthians 15:33 "Do not be misled: Bad company corrupts good character"Galatians 6:1-2 "Brothers, if someone is caught In a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently, But watch yourself, or you also may be tempted. Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ"Genesis 50:20 "You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives"Psalm 77:11,12 "I will remember the deeds of the Lord'; yes, I will remember your miracles of long ago I will meditate on all your works and consider all your mighty deeds"

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