Sunday, April 12, 2015

My flesh will FAIL......

My deepest desire is to be thankful for this situation so that God can use it for HIS good. 
"Be careful not to complain about anything, even the weather, since I am the Author of your circumstances. The best way to handle unwanted situations is to thank Me for them. This act of faith frees you from resentment and frees Me to work My ways into the situation, so that good emerges from it." Sarah Young Jesus Calling~
 It is definitely hard at times; My spirit is willing but my flesh is weak. It's moments like this when my limitations are excluding where I have the hardest time. But I know God is walking beside me, he has whispered many times and has assured me that In His Timing I WILL BE HEALED!
 God's ways are higher than my ways and his thoughts are higher than my thoughts.  I can not imagine his timing and how HE will choose to heal me. Healing comes in all forms.  It can come by God providing money for the surgery, a doctor who would be willing to provide services or just simplify by His Hand. This is the Faith part!!! 
His Idea of healing and my idea of healing can look different as well. 
Physically I have to be prepared for the fact that I may not be perfectly healed until the day I meet Jesus. I will tell you this, I believe I will be doing back flips and dancing when the day comes!!!!  
Emotionally I believe he heals me each and every time I go through difficult times, such as yesterday.  The pain can be overbearing and overwhelming to deal with in of its self.  Then I become emotionally drained as I watch my family continually live there lives. I deeply desire to be apart of what they are doing and try to keep a good attitude.  God reminds me of HIS longsuffering and HIS faithfulness.  He reminds me of HIS Love, His Mercy and  HIS GRACE.  He reminds me that THOSE who SOW in tears  WILL REAP in JOY....  
Spiritually  I grow each and every time I struggle. I will not go through this alone.  God walks along side of me.  I have prayed for him to take this Storm away from me, BUT he has CHOOSE to Walk with ME THROUGH the STORM.   Satan tries to fight by allowing me to believe I can not turn to others; My family, friends and prayer warriors.  This journey of battling Chronic Pain in my back is a long journey.   But, through it I desire for Christ to shine through me so that I can help others who struggle through their STORMS.
These storms in our lives produce Faith and Trust. We will not always be perfect..  We will stumble.  This is where we get to show God's glory. Because it's in our weaknesses that he is STRONG.  
For example, yesterday I had a very bad day. One of the discs is resting on a nerve which causes me a lot of nerve pain.  The best way I can explain is a combination of a pinched nerve, my leg being asleep and a Charlie horse all at the same time. As a result I loose feeling in my leg, and it has a tingly feeling in it constantly and I can't feel my toes.  Some days that pain is manageable but yesterday it was  not.  I cried off/on most of the day so I was emotionally drained. As I tried everything to relieve some of the pain the closer it got for us to have to leave to go to the Tim Hawkins concert.  He is MY FAVORITE COMEDIAN. I was looking forward to seeing HIM.  Needless to say I was not able to go. Once my family left.. I laid on the couch and cried myself to sleep.  I prayed that God would show up because I was frustrated. How am I supposed to use my pain for HIS GLORY if I am STUCK ON A COUCH ALL BY MYSELF???
 I was slowly falling into a pit of SELF PITY! 
A friend texted and said she was on HER way to come visit. She brought Chinese and stayed with me the entire duration of my family being gone!!!
God sent her to lift UP my spirits!!   
I stand ON GOD'S promises: We are going to have moments where they seem like a valley. We are going to be broken. We will become weak. WE will struggle.  We may even fall apart.  But we can rest assured that
   In the meanwhile as I Wait for Him and for HIS name to be glorified through this chronic pain I am most grateful for:

 AND  all of YOU!!!!

What Storm are you going through?
What verses are you lead to for encouragement?
How can you be a blessing to others during your own Storm?
I pray that you never feel as if you have to go through your own battle yourself. I pray that you will boldly have the confidence to share with someone that you can trust so that THEY can run to the throne FOR YOU!! We must be stripped from our pride and humbly seek Christ in all situations and circumstances. 

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