I feel like the closer we get to moving to Tennessee the more Satan attacks by throwing various darts!! Darts are thrown to; distract you, to loose your focus, and to get you to fail at relying and/or trusting your faith.
Darts can look anything like:
lack of communication
Today was no different with the fiery darts being tossed at me & my family.
Dart of Distraction:
I went to the doctor to have a second injection for my back; they took my blood pressure and realized my blood pressure was too high for them to continue with the procedure. MY blood pressure was 200/122. The doctor wanted me to go the E.R. immediately. Worry, fear & anxiety crept in as we have no medical insurance and the last thing I want to be doing is accumulating medial bills before we relocate. I prayed asked God to lower my BP. I told the doctor that I could regulate it on my own but it was not open for discussion. He said I was very lucky that I hadn't suffered a stroke by this point. He also said that the blood pressure and pain is like a cycle. Yes the pain causes the high blood pressure but that the high blood pressure keeps me from healing properly due to the improper blood flow.
I knew I needed to take care of myself. I had some previous warning signs the last several days, not to mention I have struggled with this for quite a while now. Upon arrival to the E.R. my blood pressure was 217/148.. They immediately put an IV in to administer some meds.
Dart of "lack of focus":
Sadness immediately came over me as the realization of reality was hitting. You see several years ago I was diagnosed with a heart condition; two valves in my heart doesn't open and shut properly causing my blood to regurgitate. The doctor, then, had said that it shouldn't be a problem but in future it could cause high blood pressure and/or CHF. Knowing that once I start blood pressure medicine it is something I will need to conintue. All of these emotions were plaquing me like a sea of waves tossing back in forth.
Dart of "Failing to rely on faith":
I texted a friend to ask for prayers. She texted back to say STOP WORRYING..
WORRY STOPS FAITH!!
I love it when a friend speaks truth to you.. I was so focused on my problem that I wasn't focusing on the one thing I needed to be..
My faith in a God who is so much bigger than any of these problems.
Her next text was:
"Standing on the promises of Christ My king!!!!"
As the words of this text began to penatrate into my soul I began to feel a peace & a calming. In that moment I realized that not everything turns out the way you want, hope or desire. But if each of these moments bring you a little closer to those who will literally jump in front of your fiery dart when you have litte strength to do so, then I welcome the moments.
I am encouraged this evening by friends who will not only say they will pray, they PRAY. In moments of vulnerability, in moments of weakness, in moments of despair.. they go to the throne on your behalf, and speak truth into a desperate heart.. who in that moment in time: Got distracted, lost her focus & failed to rely on her faith ..... but only for a moment!!