Monday, March 6, 2017

The boys had spread their wings...

The end of a great chapter had come to an end... all I could do was relish the time I had spent in the previous chapters and imagine what lie ahead in the chapters to come.  You see the chapters I speak of are about me and my boys!

I remember when Owen was born. Mike had brought Kirk who at the time was 2, to the hospital to see his new baby brother. As he was looking at him he decided,  for no other reason than to let him know He was the big brother, to give him a whack on the forehead. I was mortified and scared that the nurses would take my new baby away for kid to kid abuse!  I learned quickly that this would be the first of many 'episodes' of sibling rivalry and that the journey was long, hard, rough, exciting, adventerous, joyful, and shared. I couldn't imagine the journey being anything but a memory, but on Wednesday, March 1st that is what it became. The time had come, the boys had spread their wings and flew the nest! I am so thankful they moved only 10 minutes away for now.

I remember when they were little and they would build forts out of couch cushions and blankets. We would play "little pig little pig" I would be the woof and I would huff and puff and blow their house down! I would knock all the cushions down and try to grab them and tickle them! They then would make it to the next 'house' and the process would start all over.

Oh how I wished they were little again. Worries that consumed them were which hot wheels car they were going to play with, or which power wheel they would drive, whether we would go bicycling or just play in the yard, where to hide for hide-n-seek, or what puzzle or game to play. Now real life knocks at their door and they will now have worries such as bills, boundaries and budgets!

As the boys were moving I sat them down and talked to them about what it would look like now that they no longer live under the shelter of our rules, boundaries and disciplines. How they will now have to establish their own set of standards. What that will look like and how they will live it out. I shared my heart with them  how I never imagined standing at the crossroads of turning the page as I'm left wondering if I taught them enough, did I love them enough, did I instill in them healthy and positive values and morals??
As parents we do not want to see our children suffer or struggle; however I know it is part of life and it helps develop our character and defines who we are.
Just as our heavenly Father must watch us struggle at times, we are given free choice so occasionally we wrestle with issues longer than we would have to as it is all part of our learning.

I remember when I would have to discipline the boys over and over because they simply would not obey. I would teach them about rewards and consequences. Good behavior equaled rewards bad behavior equaled consequences. No matter how many times I would explain this one of the boys felt it necessary to test my patience in this regard. I never wanted to discipline them but it was needed to teach acceptable behavior.

I can only imagine on such a small scale how our heavenly Father looks upon us and desires us to have acceptable behavior. I am so thankful for forgiveness, mercy and grace that our Father extends to us not to mention how he lavishes us with Love!  I can only hope and pray that the boys will make choices that will continue to reflect Christ and to live out the Will of God for their lives bringing God's name glory.

I remember when the boys were little. Oh how they made my mamma heart so proud when they got along as friends.  When they played well together, shared together, compromised together! Fast forward to now and they still are friends. Don't get be wrong they have their moments, but to share another milestone in their lives together is remarkable and allows me to feel blessed. They continue to share in a journey together! They will learn what it is like to actually be an adult! My deepest desire is to first leave a Christ-like legacy for all my children but also that they will always be close to one another, embarking on adventures together, creating memories together and just doing life together!

As the new chapter begins, yes, I mourn a season of life that is over but I anticipate and expect great things for the new chapter in my life! It took a few months of a painful process and preparation of letting go... But I have put my boys in a Moses basket and I did just that...
                  I LET them go!!

All those years of raising the boys, I would hear people say 'Parent first, Friend second'.....

I officially move pass the season of HAVING to parent and enter the season of GETTING to be their friend/mentor
and for that I'm grateful!! ♡♡