Saturday, September 29, 2012

Good Samaritan!!


   
   On Thursday when I took the kids to Art School I came outside to a dead battery in the jeep.
Thank Goodness Mike has taught me how to jump our vehicles!! Having confidence of knowing how to take care of the problem, I asked one lady whom had pulled her VERY NICE vehicle next to mind, if she could give me a jump??   With much hesitation, and nervousness she fought to come up with the "right words" to say. I reassured her that I knew how to jump my jeep and that it would only take a few minutes to which she stated that she had to get her son to soccer practice... Unfortunately she was TOO BUSY!  She justified her statement by apologizing.  As she was stating her apology to me the second lady was walking by and overheard our conversation.  I looked at her but before I could ask her to help me she stated that she had to take her child to karate. Again, SHE WAS too busy as well... The Third person came along and had what I needed.. Before long the jeep was running and off I went!! This reminded me of the parable of the good Samaritan..............
      



The Parable of the Good Samaritan

25 On one occasion an expert in the law stood up to test Jesus. “Teacher,” he asked, “what must I do to inherit eternal life?”

26 “What is written in the Law?” he replied. “How do you read it?”

27 He answered, “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind’[a]; and, ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’[b]

28 “You have answered correctly,” Jesus replied. “Do this and you will live.”

29 But he wanted to justify himself, so he asked Jesus, “And who is my neighbor?”

30 In reply Jesus said: “A man was going down from Jerusalem to Jericho, when he was attacked by robbers. They stripped him of his clothes, beat him and went away, leaving him half dead. 31 A priest happened to be going down the same road, and when he saw the man, he passed by on the other side. 32 So too, a Levite, when he came to the place and saw him, passed by on the other side. 33 But a Samaritan, as he traveled, came where the man was; and when he saw him, he took pity on him. 34 He went to him and bandaged his wounds, pouring on oil and wine. Then he put the man on his own donkey, brought him to an inn and took care of him. 35 The next day he took out two denarii[c] and gave them to the innkeeper. ‘Look after him,’ he said, ‘and when I return, I will reimburse you for any extra expense you may have.’

36 “Which of these three do you think was a neighbor to the man who fell into the hands of robbers?”

37 The expert in the law replied, “The one who had mercy on him.”


Jesus told him, “Go and do likewise.”


These ladies shocked me.. I couldn't believe they wouldn't help me?? I was extremely hurt and a little embarrassed!! BUT THEN...

How many times have I passed by someone who needed help because I WAS TOO BUSY??

Passing by someone doesn't necessarily mean someone broken down along side the road.  It  could be anyone in need, no matter the situation!! 

What are we doing to LOVE our NEIGHBORS????

Do our lives reflect HIS love or are OUR lives in VEIN???



 





Thursday, September 27, 2012

Due DATE??



                                




Do you remember your due date? The excitement of leading up to the moment you would be able to meet the wonderful bundle of joy that you had connected with and carried for the last nine months.  The overwhelming joy of becoming a mother.  The anxiety of how you would manage. The anticipation of bonding together as a family.... The minutes turn to hours; hours to weeks; and weeks to months and finally the time arrives!  But, what if that is all taken from you in a moment and you don't get the chance to experience such joy. What if instead of joy all you get is heartache and sorrow filled with days of a broken heart?

Sept 9th 1999... My ultrasound had been scheduled later in the week but I was having some difficulties so the ultrasound technician got me in sooner.  I lay on the bed, watching the nurse. Her complex face told me that something was wrong.. I was scared! What could me wrong? Anxiety filled my head.. It was just the night before I started to think of names that we would name the new baby. How I couldn't wait for the boys to meet their new little brother or sister.... But now, in that moment in time I was not experiencing the same emotions.  She explained that the heart beat was extremely faint and at times she couldn't hear it.  I could feel the tears well up in my eyes, my heart beat was beating in my throat. I managed to ask if the baby would be okay.. She instructed me to go up and be on complete bed rest for a week.  I was to come back the following week to check the progress of the baby. My thoughts and emotions turned to my boys.. The boys were 4 and 2 how could I mange to be on complete bed rest and take care of the babies I had at home? But, I had to  follow orders as I wanted this baby to be healthy. I didn't want to ask any more questions for fear I would be told something I didn't want to hear so I left.  I rubbed my belly and prayed over my little bundle of joy.  She/He was going to be fine.. I had no complications with my other two pregnancies and they were healthy.

An hour later, I was laying on my couch. My brother-in-law was still there.  I couldn't get myself of the couch.. Cramps started and they were intense! The longer it happened the more intense they got. I felt the urge to go to the bathroom, I made a comment in passing my b-i-l that if I had been 9 months pregnant I would assume I was in labor.. As I was in the bathroom the most horrific thing happened to me....... I LOST MY BABY!  I was in shock, I didn't want to believe it.. But it was true! I raced to the doctors and ran in frantically with what I had passed in the toilet. They took it from me immediately and had it tested.  I had an ultra sound done and I was no longer pregnant. Just like that, it was over. I didn't choose to loose my child but it happened. I had suffered a miscarriage.

During the months of healing, I started battling with depression. At the time I didn't know that.  I didn't want to shower, I didn't want to get out of bed.. I did as little as possible with the kids. I ached all over, I was tired.. One day I was laying on the couch and Kirk had come up to me and said he didn't like the sad mommy that he wanted the happy mommy back.. To make matters worse people didn't know how to encourage me. They would mean well but just fan flames to my "anxieties" by saying comments such as
A miscarriage isn't like loosing a REAL baby.........
At least your baby is in heaven........
You can get pregnant again........

I started to believe that I was crazy for being sad over a baby I had never met... What was wrong with me?? A couple of months went by and I had gotten sick. I finally went to the doctor for blood work.  The next day they called and said I tested positive for both tests... Excuse me, both test? What exactly was I tested for??  Strep and Pregnancy.... WHAT!!
I was pregnant and didn't know it!! The anticipation, once again, of the arrival of another bundle of joy, to only end 8 weeks later in another miscarriage! What was wrong with me? My hearts' desire was to have a precious daughter.. I longed for a little girl. I had been blessed with not only one boy but two... I wanted to feel complete; to have a girl I could call my daughter. To have a special bond with her that I didn't share with my mother.. But all my hopes and dreams were vanished.. Because I couldn't bear to go through the heartache again.. I had decided I was done and two children would be all that I would or could handle.
In the following weeks I had to visit the doctors on a weekly basis... After 9.5 weeks later something was wrong. The nurse on the phone said I had to go the doctor the following day for an ultra sound. I was so sick of this medical roller coaster! What could possibly be wrong NOW? So the next day I showed up for the scheduled ultra sound... I knew the procedure pretty well.  As I lay on the bed waiting for the nurse my mind just raced for answers.. I had so many questions I began to get furious.  Why would it take weeks for them to discover something was wrong from the previous miscarriage? As my mind raced with uncertainties the nurse came in... She got right to her job with out delay... She began to talk to me and once again stopped what she was doing to excuse herself to get the doctor. He came in immediately and looked at the ultrasound. I was so nervous and just wanted to know what was going on... The doctor pointed to the screen turn up the volume and allowed me to listen to their astonishing finding..... A HEARTBEAT!! a strong one, I might add... And so the journey to carry my little girl began. I was in a stage of shock. I had no idea that once again I was pregnant much less almost 3 months already. I didn't allow myself to get emotionally attached for a long time,  I just couldn't!  But on November 13th, 2000 did give birth to a healthy baby  girl.. We have all come to love so dearly!!!

Speed this up to the present time.. Some of you may be wondering where this came from? Its' not something I typically share.. But here is my point. 

It's weird how the mind works.. I remember the first miscarriage by the day I lost the baby... And I remember the second one by the due date..
Two dates that has carried a dark cloud, of something from the past that has been so dear to my heart. 

This year Our families journey led us somewhere completely different and out of our comfort zone.  A place where we knew no one, knew nothing about and frankly wondered what it is that we were doing.  Along the way have come many, many blessings; in all different shapes, forms, and ways!!
One of the biggest blessings I have received are FRIENDS.  My hearts' desire was for us to be surrounded by many who would support us, love us and understand what we were doing.  One of these friends in particular honestly has been what the scripture in Ephesians 3:20 talks about when God says "Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us"  I couldn't begin to imagine the importance of this friendship in my life and still have a hard time comrepehending this amazing friendship God has blessed me with...

This year we found out that Mikes' b-day was on the SAME date has her brothers who had passed away.  They have the same name, same b-day AND they were the same AGE!!
This year on Sept. 9th we had the honor in witnessing their entire family get baptized
AND this year I learned that their first daughter's b-day is the day my second baby's due date was.....

God does not only think about the big things that happened in life.. HE thinks about the little things as well.. He orchestrates things so beautifully that for years those days held such sentimental value to me, but now after all this time he has replaced them with something far more worth!
I am so thankful that God gives us the desires of our hearts in more ways then we can COUNT!!!



Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Conversations!!

                   

                         CONVERSATIONS

Monday, September 17, 2012

REJECTED!!



    The other day we were sitting in a Mom's meeting for our Co-op and I had been rejected.  By whom you may ask? By a lil' cute bundle of joy who is no more than 8 MONTHS OLD!! However, the rejection got me thinkin' I used to struggle with rejection and fell into the trap of being a people pleaser. It was a vicious cycle that I do not care to repeat but do find myself slowly slipping into the beginning stages of such. Rejection leaves a person questioning the confidence level and security of the individual.

reject
vb
1. to refuse to accept, acknowledge, use, believe, etc
2. to throw out as useless or worthless; discard
3. to rebuff (a person)
4. (of an organism) to fail to accept (a foreign tissue graft or organ transplant) because of immunological incompatibility
n
5. something rejected as imperfect, unsatisfactory, or useless


As a little child I had been rejected by two people that should have been important in my life. The choices they made led me to strongholds that I did not realize I had.  I had no idea how it affected me so much.  I struggled with keeping control of any thing in my life including relationships & schedules.  I needed to feel empowered;  but If I didn't I would slip into a state of depression. I hated myself and I hated feeling as if I was rejected. I put up walls to defend the hurt; I didn't want to be effected by my past but I had no peace with my past either. I created this high expectation of how perfect my life would be only to result in failure which would lead to the depression.  Oh how I hurt inside; But to reveal such truth would make me so vulnerable.
 I started going to Celebrate Recovery that our church had held.  I was so nervous to be a part of a group that shared their deepest emotions but something kept pulling me there.  Actually, I felt as if the only thing I suffered from was "having nothing wrong with me syndrome" After all, the pain was deeply rooted. So much, that it took weeks for it to gradually service.  I remember the host of our group praying that Truth be revealed in the hearts' of  the precious daughter's of the KING. How we were LOVED so much by our heavenly father and He LONGED to show us how precious, and beautiful we truly were. How he DESIRED a relationship with US!! I went home that night feeling sick to my stomach.. I knew how much God loved others; but there was no way that deep love would apply to me.  Lies filled my head; such lies as

*I'm not good enough
*If you share a deep love for the father you will only get hurt
*You have to prove your love to your father
*I make the same mistakes over and over-I'm not worthy
*How can a father love me so much

My energy went towards proving to the world that I was the perfect mother, wife, friend anyone could be. I didn't have time to develop true, intimate relationships because I was busy fighting a viscous cycle; a stronghold!
One day I was sitting in the living room... I was reading a book entitled "Making Peace with your Past" at first the book was too much for me.  It expected me to answer questions about myself; that I never took time to do.  But this in particular day I was about to loose the battle.  A battle that was never intended for me to carry... I lost the battle and Laid it at the foot of Jesus that afternoon, and Jesus WON the victory over my STRONGHOLD.. the stronghold of feeling helpless, the stronghold of feeling bitter, anger, resentful... the battle of DEPRESSION... the battle of REJECTION!!  I did not need to feel these things as Christ himself wanted to fill these holes that was in my heart with something greater than anything in this world could fill.  He wanted all of me including my BAGGAGE! We were not meant to feel defeated.  That is a lie that Satan puts in our minds.
I do not need to feel rejected.... I need to feel redeemed!!!!


I'm forgiven because you were forsaken
I'm accepted, You were condemned
I'm alive and well
Your spirit is within me
Because you died and rose again

I'm forgiven because you were forsaken
I'm accepted, you were condemned
I'm alive and well
Your spirit is within me
Because you died and rose again

Amazing love, how can it be?
That you, my king. would die for me
Amazing love, I know it's true
Its my joy to honor you
Amazing love how can it be?
That my king would die for me

Amazing love I know it's true
Its my joy to honor you
In all I do
I honor you


When the righteous cry for help, the Lord hears and delivers them out of all their troubles. The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit. Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the Lord delivers him out of them all. He keeps all his bones; not one of them is broken.  Psalm 34:17-20

And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus.  Philippians 4:19

Casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you. 1 Peter 5:7

Thursday, September 13, 2012

THURSDAYS!!!

What does Art School, Band Practice, Volleyball Practice and School all have in common????

It's all on Thursday!!!!! Yes, we started our trips to Fort Callhoun every Thursday for the next 23

weeks... The kids LOVED it already, and we are given a room so we can continue our school work!!

Came home and Mike had made dinner, which was so nice... Lyv is @ Volleyball practice... waiting

for her to get home to let me know how her first practice went... The band is starting to sound

AWESOME!!! I can't wait for some opportunities for them!!! I love having the boys over, because I

love to see how they have progressed!! So today has been extremely productive....



Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Digging DEEP III



  It seems like forever ago that I was doing this series.  I meant to finish it the next day; however I was swept off my feet by the crazy schedule!!  We were discussing the moments in life when we seem like all we do is wait! God does have a purpose for his timing.. This quote was used during a sermon while I was going through our waiting season in life...



Title: Four Answers From God!

1. If the request is wrong, God says, "No."
This is when we ask amiss out of the will of God
2. If the timing is wrong, God says, "Slow."
This is when there are other things that need to happen before the answer comes.
God's delay is not God's denial.
3. If you are wrong, God says, "Grow."
The answer does not come because you are not ready to handle it.
4. But if the request is right, the timing is right and you are right, God says, "Go!"
This is promise fulfilled and Heaven coming down to earth.
 
Bill Hybels
 
Into the pages of my journal......
 
The more I seek you
The more I find you
The more I find you
The more I love you
I want to sit @ your feet
Drink from the cup in your hand
lay back against you and breath fill your heart beat
This love is so deep its more than I can stand
I melt in your peace its OVERWHELMING
 
Phil 2:13 "For it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his will"
 
LORD.... What is your will FOR ME??
What are the decisions you want ME TO make?
What is the direction you need me to take?
What leadership roles do you want me TO step into?
 
Psalm 40:8 " I desire to do your Will, O my God your laws is with in my heart:
 
Jeremiah 33:3 "Come to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know"
Jeremiah 32:27 "I am the Lord the God of all mankind, Is anything to Hard for ME?
 
God has the power to CHANGE those areas in your life that desperately need his touch..
 
After looking back over my journal I now can clearly see that God's WAIT answer for ME was that I needed some TIME to GROW!!
How wonderful and faithful God is!! He knows what is best.  IT hard to hear NO.. But just like we, as parents, need to tell our children no sometimes.... IT is in their best interest as we have more wisdom and knowledge than they....
 
I think if we took the time to evaluate each situation in our lives we would be able to accept the answers that God gives us more willingly knowing HE is a GOD of perfect timing!!!
 
So faithful
So constant
So loving and so true
So powerful in all You do

You fill me
You see me
You know my every move
You love for me to sing to You

I know that You are for me
I know that You are for me
I know that You will never
Forsake me in my weakness

And I know that You have come down
Even if to ride upon my heart
To remind me who You are

So patient

So gracious
So merciful and true
So wonderful in all You do

You fill me
You see me
You know my every move
And You love for me to sing to You

And Lord, I know that You are for me
I know that You are for me
I know that You will never
Forsake me in my weakness

And I know that You have come down
Even if to ride upon my heart
To remind me
Kari Jobe

Monday, September 10, 2012

I am left pondering!!!



Wow! I have not had a day like this in awhile.  Already off the bat, after attempting to achieve the goals I have set forth, we had a LONG, Hard day!!! I just couldn't stay on track today.  Everything took longer, and already I'm thinking that our Friday Study Hall day WILL NOT WORK!

The problem with that is the kids took that for granite and did not get their work done, so today we were playing catch up.. We were still doing work when Lyv needed to leave for gymnastics.... I am beat!! So another thing that creeps to mind, as I am playing the "ponder game" is the fact I was going to try and keep ahead of schedule when it came to grading the papers! Yikes, again... Because I have not had a chance!

 I wanted Mike to take Lyv to gymnastics so I could get some house work done, papers graded,  lessons planned and dinner cooked!  We will cut  the details out but I ended up taking her! I was mad.. I had so much to do and after sitting all day, my back hurt the last thing I wanted to do is "go be friendly" But I went! As I drove, I questioned the reason I was mad? I thought to myself how ridiculous I was being.. after all I was going to get to see my daughter experience something new in her life and it should have been an honor to watch...

Once we got there, the task of picking her leo out and talking with the instructor had taken over and I was glad that I was a part of her new little experience.  Once I got home to my SURPRISE the house had been picked up and the laundry had been started!! I made dinner and we ate.  The evening quickly slipped away.   I am at my desk trying to accomplish a few things, the kids are now in bed  and I am left pondering once again.... Did the kids truly learn anything today as I overwhelmed them with an overload of assignments to complete?  A big sigh...There's always tomorrow!!! And now... I need to go apologize as I still have not done it!!


To Be One With Each Other

What greater thing is there for two human souls
than to feel that they are joined together to strengthen
each other in all labor, to minister to each other in all sorrow,
to share with each other in all gladness,
to be one with each other in the
silent unspoken memories?


George Eliot




These words are soo much easier to hear them than it is to say them...






 

 

Friday, September 7, 2012

New Year!!!

         



                    The second year of Home school is in full swing; and YES I am overwhelmed!! 
                                                            (In a good way, however)




OUR FAMILY SCHEDULE

 

Trying to transition into schedules, learning how to prioritize, and accomplish the days without distractions.  I completely love the challenges that have been set forth.  I have several new goals this year:


*No entering into the technology world during school hours

*School hours 8:00-1:00 (as much as possible) (We are still trying to achieve this goal-Know this friends, we have been done everyday before the ICE CREAM TRUCK!!)

*Concrete daily schedule to alleviate long transitions

*Siblings help each other this year

*Complete all assignments and task including grades by Friday (struggling with this one!!)

*Completion of curriculum is far more important than MY HOURS this year!! (and trust me we have a lot to accomplish!!) (I just couldn't help myself on this one again this year)









Monday, September 3, 2012

Digging Deep Part II


                                         Are you resting in the shadow of the Almighty??


 
 
God is our dwelling place; under his wings we find refuge.
God's faithfulness is our constant shield, as we face dangers and heartaches because of a lost and fallen world. We are not left alone.
 
 
Then Samuel took a stone, and set it between Mizpeh and Shen, and called the name of it Eben-ezer, saying, Hitherto hath the Lord helped us.”—1 Samuel 7:12.
 
 Would it not be even more interesting and profitable for us to remark the hand of God in our own lives? When we look back at our own history when God, in his fullness, goodness and of his truth,  has delivered us from the the season of waiting.. Do I remember to place "a stone" each time the Lord helps me or delivers me as a reminder of how God leds me??

"And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus"-Phil. 4:19

Sometimes he takes us out of situations, problems or needs; other times he take us through them regardless of the way he works in our lives, we can trust him as our ever-present guide for us today!

 
 
’Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus,
Just to take Him at His Word;
Just to rest upon His promise,
And to know, “Thus saith the Lord!”
Jesus, Jesus, how I trust Him!
How I’ve proved Him o’er and o’er;
Jesus, Jesus, precious Jesus!
Oh, for grace to trust Him more!
Oh, how sweet to trust in Jesus,
Just to trust His cleansing blood;
And in simple faith to plunge me
’Neath the healing, cleansing flood!
Yes, ’tis sweet to trust in Jesus,
Just from sin and self to cease;
Just from Jesus simply taking
Life and rest, and joy and peace.
I’m so glad I learned to trust Thee,
Precious Jesus, Savior, Friend;
And I know that Thou art with me,
Wilt be with me to the end.
 
 

(CONTINUED to Part III)

Sunday, September 2, 2012

Digging Deep!! Part 1


    


While talking with a dear friend of mine the other day the topic of clear directions came up.. Which got me to ponder. I think at times we have all had seasons in our lives where we were called to WAIT.. But wait for what?

Sometimes it's frustrating not knowing exactly the reason God is calling us to wait.  My heart was extremely heavy leaving the conversation that day.  I prayed that God would reveal some insight, and surely HE DID!! We serve a mighty, powerful and faithful GOD... With that said, the insight was a memory of when Mike and I was going through the valley of waiting.  I say that because sometimes we need to go through a valley to be able to celebrate the MOUNTAIN God will bring us to!  During the time Mike and I had felt like going into ministry there was a lot going on in our lives at the time.  I couldn't imagine one more thing to handle but GOD could imagine it; little did I know I would go through much more.  During this time I actually wrote a journal.  Why I do not keep up with that is beyond me.  I really wish that was a habit I would continue to do... However, the journal and testimony during that time is the reason for these next few blogs.. (and I THOUGHT I was transparent ENOUGH)

********************************************************************************

After  13 years of an emotional roller coaster Mike had finally dedicated his life to the Lord. Afterwards I wondered what I would use my prayers for.. I had spent years praying for God to move that mountain and the answer finally came to past. Little did I know we would go through another valley of waiting.  I didn't feel as if I deserved to WAIT once again.. I should be exempted from this or something.  At church, during worship one Sunday morning the song "God of This City" by Chris Tomlin came on.  I found myself overcome with the peace of knowing that God wasn't done with us and that something BIG was still to happened.. I was overcome with His presence during the entire song.  God was speaking to me through the words of this song.  I had the reassurance of knowing that just because we were going through a valley once again; there was GREATER things still to be done as long as we believed.

"God Of This City"

You're the God of this City
You're the King of these people
You're the Lord of this nation
You are

You're the Light in this darkness
You're the Hope to the hopeless
You're the Peace to the restless

There is no one like our God
There is no one like our God

For greater things have yet to come
And greater things are still to be done in this City
Greater thing have yet to come
And greater things are still to be done in this City

There is no one like our God
There is no one like our God



Shortly after Mike gave his heart to Christ, Jesus was revealing in me that I needed "an overhaul"  I was battling with secret depression at the time, and I was convinced that I was strong enough that I didn't need anyone to talk to.. I kept myself busy and waited for opportunities "to help" others out.  So long as others were talking and sharing their problems... I did NOT have too. I kept my emotions to myself.. Subconsciencly, I developed a long the way that expressing sadness was a sign of weakness. I for one was not going to give anyone a reason to say I was a weak person. After all, I was a people pleaser and we just simply do not do those types of things.
What I did not realize is that God uses our very own testimonies as instruments to share with others the hope of being FREE from the strongholds that grip our minds, thoughts and attitudes.  And he was about to use mine. God chooses each and everyone of our paths out of love!! He also DESIRES a personal relationship with each of us, it is just not a religion.  The more I was seeking God the more I desired for him to change my heart. I realized that my focus had switched from being worried and concerned with the directions we needed to go verses how I could be used as a channel for him; to be his hands and feet. I dug into his word trying to gain the wisdom that I needed.
During this time God was restoring Mike and I's relationship.. That wasn't always easy, we truly had to overcome the challenges.  adding to the mix the boy's learning disabilities were truly surfacing by now.  We spent and ongoing couple of years trying to fight a battle that never was meant to be fought! I was exhausted and did not know how to stick up for my children. I needed to be their voice but so much time had passed and I was backed into a a corner..  I finally realized that I was being selfish about the outcome.  I did not want my children "labeled" but the whole time I choose not to have them tested a label was being formed.  After they received their medical diagnoses the schools still did not agree and no permanent accommodations were given to the boys. I remember sitting at my dinning room table one afternoon, just sobbing. I felt like I was in fight mood.. I felt like everything I prayed about, the answer was WAIT. I was dealing with the brokenness of our marriage and trying to get it back on track, we were transitioning from a harvest of busyness, fighting for accommodations for the boys, relationships started to deteriorate, waiting for open doors, desires of our hearts were changing.  Everything that we were involved with some how some way started looking different.
To make matters worse I was suffering with some medical issues (NOT my back for once) As I continued to sob I heard the voice of the Lord and among everything that we were going through.. The Lord announced that If I spent half the time trusting in him and believing in what he had in store for me as I did trying to "PROVE" to people what THEY needed to know or here... then I wouldn't feel as if I was fighting and waiting.  Who did I have to prove things to anyways? The only person who mattered was the LORD.  His design for our lives is perfect but we need to trust in HIM.  God has a plan for us-sometimes it requires our cooperation

Deut. 32:4 " He is the rock his works are perfect and all his ways are just.  A faithful God who does no wrong, upright and just is he"

He is worthy of our complete trust...

God is a good God

Romans 8:28 " And we know in ALL things God works for the good of those who love him have been called according to HIS purpose.

Worrying and fretting about whether we are making a wrong or right decision accomplishes nothing. Instead consciously include the Lord in our decision making.  When we do this in the middle of our problems comes PEACE, a sense of well-being, and a sure knowledge that God is with our family.
God never takes away except to give us back something better.We must be brave enough and determined enough to WAIT because it often takes God time to turn a painful situation to good.  We can embrace our pain and not resent it because a blessing is COMING!

(Continue to Part II)