Thursday, March 21, 2013

I CRIED!!!!!


"What is a true friend? A true friend says what they think their friend needs to hear even when they know that their friend may get angry. A true friend doesn't leave because they are afraid to be with you. A true friend doesn't leave when the fun stops and things get uncomfortable There are just of few of the values that real friends hold dear. In short, A true friend recognizes the value of the friendship and holds it sacred."

Today I received a beautiful message from a True Friend....
She did not tell me things I wanted to hear but things I needed to hear.  I have been fighting a battle and could not truly nail the reason as to why I was so hurt and offended, until this morning.  As she put the reasoning into clear words I felt these waves of emotions come over me. I began to cry..
I cried because I finally knew how I was really feeling.  I cried because my character and integrity had been proven so little in people I valued so highly. I cried because I cried because when things got uncomfortable I was rejected.  I cried because as I hold friendships sacredly I did not get the same in return. I cried because I realized that in the face of conflict I was worried about MYSELF instead of allowing God to do HIS work in me and through me.  That I have been fighting a battle between flesh and the spirit and in the end, ONCE again, my people pleasing attitude won!!   I needed to TRUST in God in this conflict and lay these emotions at HIS feet.  I read yesterday this beautiful saying.....

"Our job in conflict is not to prove OUR ways,
 but to offer the same forgiveness God offers us"

Ugh!! If I had only read this the ONE DAY earlier.... I was responding once again to a correspondence .. As I have been in complete shock over how I could be abandoned over a situations when I felt I had proven my loyalty and friendship prior to this uncomfortable situation.. that I would never harm any of my friends intentionally, and that I have warned every person I have ever come in contact with: NOT TO HOLD ME on a pede stool as I am human and will LET EVERY person I KNOW DOWN.... I seek God's grace and forgiveness on a daily basis!!

"I know that you are Lord, You say Lord that those who hope in You will NOT be disappointed" Isaiah 49:23

"I know the plans I have for you, declared that Lord, Plans to prosper you and Not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future" Jeremiah 29:11

"The Lord gives strength to his people: the Lord blesses his people with peace" Psalm 29:11

I cried because through the peace and comfort of the Holy Spirit I am FINALLY able to lay all of this down and Let God be God and handle this.   

In the bible study I am doing "Believing God" by Beth Moore she says this:

Galatians 4: 1-2

What I am saying is that as long as an heir is underage, he is no different from a slave, although he owns the whole estate. The heir is subject to guardians and trustees until the time set by his father.

You and I are joint heirs of Jesus Christ (Rom 8:17) We not only have a huge inheritance coming to us in heaven, but we also have gifts and riches to invest in kingdom work here on earth.  These scriptures help us to understand that 

Sometimes God waits until we have a little maturity to place more important trusts in our hands, He also reveals the wisdom of the principle by allowing us occasionally to see what can happen when we are given more responsibility than we have the maturity to handle... I shiver at the thought of ways I unintentionally misused my gifts and responsibilities..

I cried because I have a TRUE FRIEND that will reveal to me such knowledge and wisdom and stand behind me to pray for me, support me, encourage me & LOVE ME!! 

Sunday, March 17, 2013

Pardon my absence!!!


           Isaiah 43:2
 When you pass through the waters,
I will be with you;
and when you pass through the rivers,
they will not sweep over you.
When you walk through the fire,
you will not be burned;
the flames will not set you ablaze.
I will probably not get through this blog with out crying!! But I do apologize for the lack of effort in the journal department.. It has been a long time since I have blogged... Those close to me understand this as I have had amazing prayer partners..
I am reminded of Moses when he was to lead his people across the Red Sea......

Moses crosses the Red Sea

11 They said to Moses, "Was it because there were no graves in Egypt that you brought us to the desert to die? What have you done to us by bringing us out of Egypt? 12 Didn't we say to you in Egypt, ‘Leave us alone; let us serve the Egyptians'? It would have been better for us to serve the Egyptians than to die in the desert!"
13 Moses answered the people, "Do not be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the LORD will bring you today. The Egyptians you see today you will never see again. 14 The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still."
15 Then the LORD said to Moses, "Why are you crying out to me? Tell the Israelites to move on. 16 Raise your staff and stretch out your hand over the sea to divide the water so that the Israelites can go through the sea on dry ground. 17 I will harden the hearts of the Egyptians so that they will go in after them. And I will gain glory through Pharaoh and all his army, through his chariots and his horsemen. 18 The Egyptians will know that I am the LORD when I gain glory through Pharaoh, his chariots and his horsemen."
19 Then the angel of God, who had been traveling in front of Israel's army, withdrew and went behind them. The pillar of cloud also moved from in front and stood behind them, 20 coming between the armies of Egypt and Israel. Throughout the night the cloud brought darkness to the one side and light to the other side; so neither went near the other all night long.
21 Then Moses stretched out his hand over the sea, and all that night the LORD drove the sea back with a strong east wind and turned it into dry land. The waters were divided, 22 and the Israelites went through the sea on dry ground, with a wall of water on their right and on their left.
29 But the Israelites went through the sea on dry ground, with a wall of water on their right and on their left. 30That day the LORD saved Israel from the hands of the Egyptians, and Israel saw the Egyptians lying dead on the shore. 31 And when the Israelites saw the great power the LORD displayed against the Egyptians, the people feared the LORD and put their trust in him and in Moses his servant.
Exodus 14:11-22 and 14:29-31

1) The Egyptians questioned and doubted what Moses was doing... there was disbelief

      We go through things in life but because we can't see the full picture;  the trials have us questioning and doubting the reason.  We ask God when the storms around us seem to overtake us and overwhelm us.. but Oh there is such little faith on my part!! I love what Moses says to his people..  "Do not be afraid.  Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the LORD will bring you today" Oh, how hard it is to stand firm at times. 
Who am I by Casting Crowns says....
The same VOICE who calms the sea WILL calm the storm in OUR own life.. Not because of who I am or what I've done; but because of WHO HE IS!!

2)  God wants glory brought to his name in ALL circumstances....

   "You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives." (Gen 50:20).The evil that people do to us only works out in our favour in the end even though some temporary hardship may come to us. Whilst the devil may appear to have his way for a moment, we may be sure that God will bring something good to happen for His glory.
That is why when we go though difficulties we must never mistake such a situation as GOD abandoning us and the devil having a victory. 
   As Bishop J C Ryle has said, we are not sitting in an arm-chair on the way to heaven. We are going through a process of holiness where we are refined and separated to GOD. Testing is not done to trap us into falling away from God but to sharpen us so that we are closer with GOD. The Bible tells us very clearly that “all things (not most, but all things) work together (not separately) for good to those who love GOD, to those who are called according to His purpose,” (Rom 8:28).
    Therefore, nothing is meaningless in our lives and nothing is to be taken lightly. We need to put on spiritual spectacles as we do not wrestle with flesh and blood. Ours is a spiritual battle against evil powers (Eph 6:12). The devil wishes to see the name of GOD dishonoured by mankind. We must never make the mistake in tragedies to forget the glory of GOD as we do in good times. The battle is the LORD’S and we must not mess it up by aiding the enemy.

3) In HIS timing he will deliver us......

My foes are many, they rise against me
But I will hold my ground
I will not fear the war, I will not fear the storm
My help is on the way, my help is on the way

Oh, my God, He will not delay
My refuge and strength always
I will not fear, His promise is true
My God will come through always, always

Troubles surround me, chaos abounding
My soul will rest in You
I will not fear the war, I will not fear the storm
My help is on the way, my help is on the way

Oh, my God, He will not delay
My refuge and strength always
I will not fear, His promise is true
My God will come through always, always

4) Trust is gained When Gods power is displayed..... 

     1 Peter 5:7-10  "Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. 7 Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.
8 Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. 9 Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that the family of believers throughout the world is undergoing the same kind of sufferings.
10 And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast. 11 To him be the power for ever and ever. Amen

As the storm rages against me I am overcome with doubt. My mind runs wild just playing and overplaying scenes that have taken place and overwhelmed by thoughts of dismay and confusion.. As these thoughts over flood me, frustrations and anger soon are there... although not welcomed!!
 God called Moses to a promise land. In order to get there; he had to overcome some major obstacles.  I feel like Moses right now. I know God is calling us to a "Promise Land" and we are currently up against the Red Sea.  In order for us to get to the other side we must go THROUGH the sea. I find great assurance knowing that as I walk through the storm God is with me walking along side of me!!