Monday, December 30, 2013

2013 Reflections!!!!


20) Mike and I hosted a small group for couples entitled "LOVE & RESPECT' for 12 weeks....
19) Dealt with betrayal!
18) Attended the Super-Sectional Camp Conference in Wisconsin!
17) Hosted our 2nd Mother/Daughter retreat at Camp Rivercrest!
16) Attended our first HUSKER game ( I know only important for those living in Nebraska!!)
15) Attended my second NCHEA conference!
14) Implemented the first annual Family Camp at Camp Rivercrest!
13) Invested in the long hours for our second summer @ Camp Rivercrest !
12) Had the privilege of celebrating the "40th" of  2 wonderful, dear friends!!!
11) Dealt with the loss of my mother!
10) Felt the growing pains of spiritual growth!
  9) Battled excruciating back pains!
  8) Moved into the house on the neighboring camps property!
  7) Went back home to celebrate my nephews 5th birthday!
  6) Started our 3rd year of homeschooling !
  5) Celebrated Kirk's 18th birthday!!
  4) Celebrated Owen's 16th birthday!!
  3) Celebrated Lyvvie's 13th birthday!!
  2) Celebrated Mike & I's 17th year anniversary!!
  1) Experienced shock during a surprise birthday party for ME!!



speechless (yes, this ONE TOO! okay... okay.. for the first few minutes, anyways!! )

What do all these words have in common??????

The feelings I felt @ My SURPRISE BIRTHDAY PARTY!!!!

The night was intended, or so I thought, to surprise a dear friend of mine who will be moving away.  I spent some time planning with a few women from her church to come up with a perfect night!  She and I had been planning on going to this awesome Chinese place but always came up with an excuse to cancel on one another. I knew I could be the "alibi" It was planned that the women would meet us there. The surprise went without a hitch.. The evening was great... dinner was great.... We were going to go down to the old market and walk around and then go back to her house... but all the ladies had other things to do so we ruled old market out.  She was having some out of town visitors, that loved to play euchre as well,  so it was all working out perfect that we would just go back to her place. 
As we got closer to her house she realized her crockpot was not at her house as she anticipated on making some dip, so she wanted to swing by the community center that her church owns to borrow one from them.. Because there was a fundraiser going on she didn't want to walk in by herself so she asked me to go with her... Because I am a GOOD friend I agreed!! We went in through the kitchen so we wouldn't bother anyone. As she opened the door Mike was there and he was trying to put something over my face!!!! As I came into the kitchen everyone was yelling surprise.. and then it hit ME!!!! I typically am not the one on this end of the ordeal.. I am USUALLY the one throwing the surprise parties!!! (which creates it's own excitement in itself!!) The party was FOR ME!!!! I was in a state of shock for quite sometime... I tried processing the whole night, and the puzzle pieces were coming together!!
As I was trying to throw my friend a party, she was trying to throw ME a party... The details didn't work out correctly, which resulted in the revelation of my intentions, which began the whole "turning of the tables" on ME!! bahahaha...
My real birthday falls on Christmas Eve, for years it has been "forgotten" or "combined" with the other holiday activities; as a result I have always gone over and beyond for my children and their birthdays! I love throwing parties (especially surprises) for friends as a gift to them, to show them how much I love and appreciate them. It means a LOT to me to show someone how valued they are to me. My love language is quality time and acts of service so I tend to give that in abundance!!
To think... the effort that went into planning this FOR ME
TO think....the food that was brought for the celebration FOR ME
To think....the friends who gave up their night to be present FOR ME
TO think.....the thoughtfulness displayed FOR ME
TO think.....the generosity that my friends gave FOR ME
TO think.....the energy that went into preparing FOR ME
TO think....the work involved with setting up and cleaning up FOR ME
TO think...the SURPRISE PARTY...FOR ME!!!!

Words can not express how loved and appreciated that I felt! That evening I was surrounded by friends, whom I love dearly.  (I even had a friend who could not make it but made certain she remembered the night and sent a gift!!) My heart was filled with love as blessings were lavished upon me.. I am a women of simplicity but that evening was filled with luxury... as for THAT NIGHT was PRICELESS!!!!!!!


A Channel for HIM!!

I woke up this morning and thought about my BLOG!! I have really enjoyed writing (more than I thought I would) and realized I have let it go for AWHILE!!!

I am not so sure why I avoid things when I feel overwhelmed with it... It does make things worse, for example: I am terrible about keeping up with logging in grades for the kids... so what do I do? I avoid it... My excuse is.... "I will get to it later" But later never comes which leaves me a mountain of work to do!!

Same with the blog... My goal was to blog more frequent, but every day I went without doing it... it started to become "the thing of the past" But no sooner than I thought that, I realized something. This blog is an entry into our lives as we are on our journey and I do NOT want it to be a "thing of the past" Furthermore I want to use it as a tool to look back and see where we have been and where we are going!!

During all of this thought process I am determined to self examine and figure out why I avoid things the way I do?  A part of me wants to blame it on my dad as a learned behavior... When he and my mom would fight; and their marriage got hard he would leave... I watched him walk out of the family 'dynamics' more times than I care to count. Another part of me wants to blame it on my mom as a learned behavior.... Any pressing struggle or unknown circumstance would throw her into the behaviors she knew how to act upon which was fear and anxiety. She never could face a mountain that was put in front of her!! She avoided deep issues on a regular basis. However, I want to take responsibility for myself. Yes, I may have learned some of these behaviors but I also have the knowledge to work on achieving goals that are set before me. I want to be an example for not only myself, but my family!

So... as I work through this and struggle with the commitment of not only my blog, grading papers and other things that I avoid regularly; I embark on a new challenge to work through these issues all the while going deeper with other emotional issues. To continue to rely on the strength of God,  to be obedient in the transparency of our lives; in hopes that our daily struggles, and battles will encourage and give hope to others who may struggle in the same areas.  I pray that I can be an inspiration to others only through the help of the Lord as He uses me to be a channel for HIM!!