Have you ever looked at your life and wandered what it would have been like if things were different?
Have you ever thought you were the only one going through battles?
Have you ever saw blessings in others and longed for your turn?
Have you ever just wished for things knowing those things probably would never be for you?
Have you ever wandered why God calls you to do certain things even if it means letting your own dreams die?
Have you ever questioned God's Love, Mercy, Grace or Forgiveness??
~I realize when I am in a season of waiting my mind is left to ponder and lately I have pondered all of these questions.
Mike and I recently attended a marriage conference in Nashville. It was a wonderful weekend, much needed time for each other and wonderful fellowship with good friends of ours. I literally could go to to a retreat once a month if I had the means to do so. The going part is difficult for us, it is the application. Once, your eyes are opened to areas that need changed the process can be difficult, as well as having the discipline for making changes that will only affect your marriage and family in a positive way. But, both, Mike and I are determined to have an extraordinary marriage beyond ordinary so that through our relationship we may shine the light of Christ.
Which leads me to my next few questions of wandering if things will ever happen or seeing blessings in the lives of others and waiting for your turn while longing for a dream, a passion, a desire to come true. I was reading a book recently entitled "The Art of Losing Yourself" and these words jumped of the pages for me:
Sometimes we long for something so badly we fail to see what is right in front of us!!
Wow, it hit me... I may be so caught up in longing for desires that seem unreachable that I may be forgetting to see the blessings right in front of me; to be content with the blessings in our daily lives, instead of wandering about the blessings in everyone else's lives! Blessings can come in all sizes; if we take the time to think about all the big and little things that we are blessed with it would leave our hearts in a gratitude state!
What about dreams you feel God called you to but then the path changes and leaves you mourning that path or things you wished to do or wanted to do. Sacrificing your vision, passions or desires so that your spouse may have his?
When God calls us in a specific direction we obediently except his calling on your lives. We lay down our plans for our lives and desire for His will to be done in our lives. This includes your passions, ministries, desires.. etc. etc. We actively seek less of us and MORE OF HIM....
There are times that we are given ministries for a period of time. It is our responsibility to obediently follow this direction even if it means letting it go when the proper time comes. We get so comfortable holding on to something that the very hand that holds it closed fists may be the very hand that needs to except something different in given time. We need to move out of our comfort because it is in our discomfort the Lord shows up. The speaker at the marriage conference said this:
"God's strength is sufficient but that means we must admit that we are not strong and that we are weak so that he may be strong and show us his strength"
There are other times that God directs us down a certain path for only a time because it was in that direction we needed to be shown something, or we needed to learn something. It was never Gods plan for us to travel that specific path for ever so we also must be willing to go where ever he directs us even if the direction doesn't make since to us. God is a faithful and an all knowing God. His thoughts and ways are much higher than our thoughts and ways and we must trust him.
OH.... He lavishes His love, grace, mercy and forgiveness on us.
Just when we wander why we need to sacrifice our dreams HE reminds us of the sacrifice Jesus himself made.
Just when we dont feel loved, God stretches his arms and shows us just how much he loves us.
Just when we wander why things don't go the way anticipate, God gently reminds us of his mercy and grace.
The depths of these gifts HE generously gives us is enough to make me wander one more question.......
Why do I ever doubt in a waiting season, when in that and every season God is waiting if we just draw near to him and he will lovingly show us that HE is a much bigger God than any of our questions??