Monday, May 30, 2016

Waves of Emotions

This weekend was an emotional roller coaster for me and at times hit me like waves of the ocean......

My second son graduated on May 27th, 2016 with 30 other graduates from the BHEA co-op. That in and of itself brought lots of emotions! I'm excited for him but nervous all at the same time. He is trying to finalize all the plans for college but the uncertainty brings some anxiety.

We held him a graduation party, although it was a small turnout the weather was fabulous and those who attended seemed to have an amazing time! We are thankful for everyone who showed love to our son!! 

My heart was so full as I walked around and saw everyone either playing volleyball, bocci, tether ball, playing baton, eating and/or talking! I love to create an environment for others to have a good time!!

I was overwhelmed by the generosity of family sending cards and filling the advice sheets out for Owen, the support means a lot to Him.

I was blessed by two friends, who have become like family to our family, that would travel five & ten hours to attend my son's ceremony and graduation.  It was so nice to reunite!  We had so much fun playing volleyball, corn hole, euchre & catch phrase. The staying up well past 1:00 a.m. is getting harder on me but the late night chats were awesome! I have spent two days recovering (FYI)

 Among the excitement of watching my son graduate, hosting company for 5 days, throwing a graduation party;  my oldest had decided to go back to Nebraska to serve at the camp we all left a year ago. I spent several days in prayer previously because this is the first time he was leaving the nest. It is only for the summer now, but the reality that both my boys are old enough to be independent had me an emotional mess. I worry whether they will be mature and responsible enough. I pray that the things we have taught them will carry them through their hard times. On top of that I get back lash from people who their children leaving wasn't as hard on them, they assume it should be easy for everyone. So, then I feel guilty and ashamed of my heart being broken! I know we raise our children up to become independent but it doesn't soften the blow for when the day comes. A part of me feels like it has to do with being a young mother. I had no time before my kids came to "find my purpose in life" my children have always been a part of me.. and now seasons are changing leaving me uncertain. 

In addition to all of this Mike's last day is Tuesday at the job he has had since moving to Tennessee! I knew this day was coming and it is an answer to prayer. In order for him to have time to build the tiny homes he will need to work for himself. This can be a scary time because the jobs aren't stable currently. We are trusting in the Lord's provision. While drumming up some side jobs, Mike has an amazing opportunity to work with an organization called Team Effort. They work closely with habitat for humanity. Each week middle/high school students come to the camp and work on projects that the HOH has found in the community. Mike will work closely with the groups making sure materials are supplied for each project and jobs are running smoothly. We are hoping this will be a great stepping stone in the direction of building the tiny homes in the future!!! 

After the weekend I had and the emotions I have been experiencing I have had two, peaceful, relaxing days!! Such a great gift from the Father above!!

Sunday, May 8, 2016


Our family....
We bicker, we fight, we argue, we complain...  but when it comes down to it we truly love each other!!

Dr Steve Stephens wrote this as the porcupines metaphor. It was meant for marriages but we can use it in a family application as well....

Deep in the forest there was a clearing where two porcupines shivered in the cold; one was on the east edge and one on the west. As the snow grew deep and the wind took a sharp bite, the porcupines slowly drew together. The closer to each other they moved, the more heat was conserved and the more protected they were from the wind.

“However, there was a problem in getting too close—their quills poked each other. Pain shot through each body and they quickly parted. Escape from the stabbing quills felt so good, but soon the cold pressed in again, and the two found themselves slowly and cautiously moving together. It was comforting to be close until the quills pricked, and the pain once more seemed greater than the cold.

“As the night progressed, the porcupines pulled together—then apart, over and over throughout the night. Many marriages are this way. Certain forces bring us together and we hope that is the end of the story. Boy meets girl, they fall in love, marry, and live happily ever after. Unfortunately, life rarely goes smoothly. Nobody is perfect and no relationship is made in heaven. Putting together two imperfect beings will create difficulties. As soon as we come together, something happens and we pull apart.

“The key for the porcupines is to learn how to lay down the quills so they don’t stick out and poke their partner. This is also true of marriage. The porcupine next to us is not our enemy, but our friend and ally, confidant and encourager, and a whole lot more.”

As a family we may hurt each other with our words, we may tear each other down, argue or complain... but we are not each others enemy. We need to figure out how to encourage one another, to build each other up daily.

As the kids have gotten older, and more independent it has increasingly been more challenging to sit together even at dinner time, which we are very adament about preserving! Different schedules can cause a lack of communication, scheduling conflicts which then can cause irritability, stresses all leading towards difficulties. We can choose to act or react positively or negatively. Often times the later is chosen which then causes hurt feelings! A lot of forgiveness and mercy must be extended daily~

As a family we must learn to figure out how to handle the challenges that are thrown our way so we can remain close, because afterall we are Family!

Fam▪i▪ly (fam'ə▪lē) noun *One of life's greatest blessings * a house-hold full of unconditional love and nurturing where you share hurt, joy, laughter; and fears *members who share the same values, beliefs, and traditions *a group descending from a common ancestor  *your support system *the people who know you best *those with whom you make the greatest memories of your life

Today was no exception to making the greatest memories.... On Mothers Day year and years ago Mike often wondered why he would have to get me things, or honor Mothers day as I wasn't his mother. We had to teach our children to honor me, as their mother and the only way they would know how to do so is if they were taught by or lead by an example.
All the years of being an example has finally paid off!! The following may sound like a brag but it is with deepest sincerity that I share the love that was lavished upon me today...
I fully understand that God has enriched my life by allowing me to be a mother to three beautiful children...for that I am also thankful for an amazing husband who  has actively been involved with raising these children. Today they showed their love to me in special ways that my heart was overjoyed with goodness that I am truly blessed!!
•Little details as Owen ordering ahead of time a gift that he knew would mean something special to me! The fact he remembered it was Mothers day several days before is a bonus. In the past Mike would awake the kids at 5:00 a.m. to go to Walmart to get me something "special"
•The traditional making me breakfast in bed.. although this year it was a bit different
•Mike played me a song on the guitar as he sang "our song" Remember When" by Alan Jackson... talk about Romance ladies?!?! I was crying with tears of joy the moment I woke up today :)
•A special card that had certificates to both a massage and a mani/pedi
•The weather being 82 degrees so we could enjoy games like volleyball & corn hole our families favorites
•The kids taking me to lunch to their favorite place.. (haha that is the joy of paying)
•Having 30 minutes to catch a cat nap in the middle of the afternoon
•Coffee while sitting on the porch enjoying the scenery of the nature God has created that surrounds us (okay I do this one a lot but it was still enjoyable and part of this day)
•Everyday that God gives me a gift of using my back so that I have the privilege to partcipate makes my cup runneth over!!!
•To each and I mean each of the kids giving me a hug and asking if my day was special (most know who presents a challenge on this one)
•To finalizing the night with a blueberry muffin

And to think all I wanted for Mothers Day was for us to be together all day, (which we were) a back massage, (which they bought) and for no one to make fun of me.... (I mean come on I give my family a healthy dose of ways, words and actions to make fun of  daily ;) ) but today they did a great job of keeping their sarcasm, quick wit, and good humor to theirselves! !

As the night closes to an end and I reflect on the goodness of the day it does bring a bit of sadness. I am aware of those who are saddened, broken and bruised by this day. I am aware of the pain and hurt from back stories.... I have friends who can not get pregnant, I have friends who have lost their mothers, (I myself lost my mom two years ago) I have friends who are estranged from their mothers.... and I have friends who are single, and I have friends who have to work on Sundays set aside the fact it was Mothers Day....
My heart goes out to each and everyone of you ♡♡♡

I leave each of you, regardless of how this day was filled, with these words:

God, himself, experienced every kind of emotion...he experienced pain, rejection, persecution, grief, & sorrow. He also experienced joy, & happiness..
He said

"I will use ALL things for the good for those who love me and are called according to my purpose"

Happy Mothers Day~