Monday, August 29, 2016


I hate when Insecurities rears its ugly head...

It can be just an innocent conversation that gets your mind thinking over and over about the conversation..

It can be a group picture that was taken that didn't include your child..

It can be a false label about your child...

It can be your child being excluded because of conditions that are unfair....

It can be a look...

It can be a doubt...

It can be that you just don't fit into a social click that's been formed regardless of how sweet others can be....

It can be a canceled date..

It can be a feeling of the "un's" unloved, undesired, unwanted, unexcepted...

It can be a forgotten appointment...

It can be discouragement...

It can be NOTHING AT ALL....

And yet our mind is our biggest battle field, our worse enemy, our way of losing focus.  It can paralyze us with fear, prohibit our growth and bring us into a pit of despair...

Our mind can choose to live in the lie that plaques us with negative thoughts leaving us in an emotional state of feeling knocked down...

Or it can choose to battle the war by dusting ourselves off, standing back up with our eyes looking towards the maker of heaven earth which is where our help comes from. It can choose to put on the whole armor of God in preparation; for the battle isn't against flesh and blood but by the rulers or darkness!!

It can choose to say....
I refuse to feel defeated..
I refuse to feel forgotten..
I refuse to fill my void with the world..
I refused to feel lonely...
I refuse to be a people pleaser...
I refuse to feel like I must fit in every social walk of live..
I refuse to be depressed...
I refused to be angry...
I refused to feel sad for my child..
I refuse to feel INSECURE!!

We are accepted by the ONE who layed down is life for us..
HE delights over us.
He dances over us...
HE has chosen us...
HE has called us...
Most importantly HE LOVE US!!

Wednesday, August 24, 2016

Though the seasons change.....

Though the music
And the songs we sing                       
We still lift our
To our loving God and King
Though the seasons
change Your love remains
Your love remains
Lord, You’ve been faithful
To plant the seed
And You will be
To always send Your rain

In the last few weeks there have been so many changes that have been taking place in my life, some good and some not so good.   But as I am working through these changes I am reminded that though the seasons changes God will lovingly hold my hand and guide me through them. It is so hard I feel like an emotional roller coaster.   I desire to lean on Him, Although the seasons change I know HIS LOVE REMAINS. I am literally taking it a day at a time. I remind myself how FAITHFUL GOD IS!! 

I am so glad I just did the bible study Breaking Free with Beth Moore. I have learned that God wants us to live an abundant life! If anything hold us back from experiencing such a life, God will work on us to alleviate the things that hold us back.  He is in the business or restoration and healing!!  These last few weeks has shown me that yes I do struggle with insecurities, fears and doubts.   I have felt so out of control, but I am reminded that I am not in control to begin with. When I'm experiencing these feelings often times than not I have "taken back" something I have placed at Christ feet.

 I am reminded of the goodness God wants His children to experience. I feel like we get so wrapped up in experiencing sorrow, pain or struggles that we forget that we can have joy in the midst of these things. WE don't need to feel guilty, that although we may not like the circumstances or the decisions of others around us that effect us, these words from Elevation "Hidden" comes to mind:

We still can trust God completely and listen to Him intently
God guides us through the shadows.

Hidden by Elevation (ft. Will Reagan)

There was One when I was Young
Who knew my heart
He knew my
He held my hand
And He led me to trust Him 
Now I am hidden, in the safety of your love
I trust Your heart, and Your intentions
Trust You completely, I'm listening intently
You'll guide me through these many shadows                     
As I grow and as I change
May I love you more deeply
I will lean upon Your grace
I will lean because Your goodness is unending

You are my vision, my reason for living
 You kindness leads me to repentance
I can't explain it, this sweet assurance
But I've never known this kind of friend
The sun, moon and stars shout your name
they give you reverence and I will do the same
With all my heart I give you glory
I want to seek you first
I want to love You more
I want to give you the honor you deserve


Thursday, August 18, 2016

We DIDN"T KNOW........

I can't imagine my life without my best friend! Today is a reminder of when we began our journey together 25 years ago. We were so young and really didn't know what would lie ahead of us.
We didn't know that our relationship would become one when we decided to make a promise to do life forever together~
We didn't know we would go on to have three beautiful children~
We didn't know we would loose two children we have never met~
We didn't know the heart aches, pains, struggles and trials we would endure and overcome~
We didn't know that at times life would be hard it would make US feel as if the earth beneath our feet would feel as if it were crumbling and that it would take every ounce of strength in it to overcome it~
We didn't know we would get the opportunity to experience the love of Christ, His forgiveness, and experience His restoration as he healed a marriage that had been unraveling for that first 13 years of a marriage~
We didn't know of the laughter, the fun, the memories that sharing life together would bring~
We didn't know the seasons of life would build character and wisdom in us as we tarried through each of them~
We didn't know the in each of those seasons would bring life and death~
We didn't know that marriage was selfless, sacrificial and worth fighting for~
We didn't know that it would be in God's perfect design he would call us to leave our family and friends and everything we knew and call us into a life of ministry~
We didn't know that we would be obedient & willing to follow Him faithfully~
We didn't know that in life no matter what the circumstances were we would BE BLESSED~
But NOW WE DO KNOW!!!  We have weathered the storm and let me tell you we are weathering another storm currently in our life. Each season of life brings with it the sun, the rain, the wind, the lightening, the thunder and even at times the tornado.
  But these things are needed to remain alive!! 
Sun gives heat, gives light, gives life, and gives energy
Rain is fresh water that we depend on for survival 
Wind makes energy, moves seeds that help environment grow, its inexhaustible
Lightening helps fertilize the soil
Thunder converts atmospheric nitrogen into nitrates
and supplies nitrogen to the plants
In comparison each of these things remind me of things we go through in life. We need a balance of each or we can get into trouble. To much sun can bring a drought.  Too much rain can cause floods. Too much wind can cause damage. Lightening and thunder are dangerous.
When we go though trials or challenges so long we start to feel exhausted, we loose focus, the winds in our life are damaging and the thunder and lightening is dangerous. We have all had things happen to where we feel as if our own wind has been knocked out of us by the storms that rage around us. Each storm ranges from length and intensity. But no matter how long you weather a storm at the end comes a promise.
The promise of the RAINBOW. 
The rainbow came after God flooded the earth.  He gave it as a symbol and to serve as a reminder that he would never flood the earth again.  
I think of that in every storm we have gone through. No matter what
WE will not drown in the circumstances we are going through because however long the storm is IT WILL END!! 
Image result for this too shall pass
God has been faithful. 
Isaiah 55:11 "It is the same with my word. I send it out, and it always produces fruit. It will accomplish all I want it to, and it will prosper everywhere I send it"
I always listen to music when I can not articulate my feelings, emotions or words. They seem to always have the words...
Seasons Change  United Pursuit (ft. Michael Ketterer)
Though the music changes
And the songs we sing
We still lift our praises to our loving God and king
Though the music changes
And the songs we sing
We still lift our praises to our loving God and king

Though the seasons change
Your love remains

Lord you’ve been faithful to plant the seeds
And you will be faithful to always send your rain
Lord you’ve been faithful to plant the seeds
And you will be faithful to always send your rain

Though the seasons change
Your love remains

When we were far apart
You came running with open arms