Wednesday, January 18, 2017

When the tears flow...

In the early hours of the night when the tears flow, and the weight of a mountain is upon my shoulders

 I turn to you..

When I struggle with learning the lesson that's before me, knowing the walls need torn down

 I turn to you....

When my fainted heart is before you and I have no song

 I turn to you...

When I feel as if time is wasted, bonds are cracked and I can't make sense of it all 

 I turn to you...

When In the seasons of emptying, preparing, and transitioning 

 I turn to you....

When it hurts like crazy, in the darkness of the night 

I turn to you...

When I must let go

I turn to you...

The changes of life can be a time of:
~sorrow                                                       ~despair                                                 ~loneliness

No matter what season of life you are in it will always be a season of readiness to prepare you for an upcoming season. Our seasons cycle so we are never in them for long (thank goodness); although, some seem longer and harder than others. During the extended, challenging, & hard seasons of life there is joy to be found.

"There will be weeping for a night but the joy comes in the morning"

Tonight I was listening to a song called
King of my Heart by Sarah McMillan

Let the King of my heart be the mountain where I run, the foundation I drink from..         oh HE IS MY SONG

Let the King of my heart be the shadows where I hide, the ransom for my life....                         oh HE IS MY SONG

Let the King of my heart be the wind inside my sails, the anchor in the waves..                           oh HE IS MY SONG

Let the King of my heart be the fire inside my veins, the echo of my days..                               oh HE IS MY SONG..

you are good, good.. You are good
you are good, good.. You are good

Words from the song 

"Even when it Hurts" by Hillsong

Take this fainted heart
Take these tainted hands
Wash me in your love
Come like grace again

Even when my strength is lost
I'll praise you
Even when I have no song
I'll praise you
Even when it's hard to find the words
Louder then I'll sing your praise

I will only sing your praise

Take this mountain weight
Take these ocean tears
Hold me through the trial
Come like hope again

Tuesday, January 10, 2017

Confession: I feel as If I have been walking in the wilderness

Image result for scriptures about the wildernessImage result for Duet 8:2"Confession: I feel as if I have been walking around in the wilderness; I am beat down, lonely and abandoned. As I cry out to God the words "You've called and I see" toss around in my spirit but it means little at first.  I am sowing but reaping little to no return as a harvest. As I stand in the middle of my wilderness the winds of my circumstances blow around me. I can do nothing. I have tried to reach out and maintain some control. But this doesn't happened.
I want it to stop... it doesn't.
I desire more... I'm required to wait.
I want to rely on those around me.. they are taken away from me.
I want less to handle.... I am given more.
I want to understand... God's thoughts are higher

When does it stop?  Yet the words in my spirit.....
"You've called and I see" continue to be heard; as some form of peace in the midst of the chaos. There isn't much I can do about my circumstances but I can change the way I look at my circumstances...."

 I recently listened to a sermon by Priscilla Shirer called
"Have you abandoned your boat?"  based on the parable in Luke 5...
Image result for scripture about god seeing youSimon had been fishing all night but had caught no fish.  Meanwhile the crowds pressed into Jesus.  Jesus was looking around for a platform so that others could hear the value of His words. He looked and saw Simon. He had fished all night and caught no fish.   Simon got out of the boat, and Jesus stepped in.  When we allow Jesus to step into our messy and empty places we allow him to use the useless parts of our lives; and he will take the useless parts and make them useful.
In His sovereignty He will allow our platforms to become empty so he has a place to stand and to teach others. As we stand empty with our deficiencies and in our weaknesses God can step in and replace the whole that has been created with His strength.
Image result for isaiah 55 my thoughts are not your thoughts God calls us to risky, reckless places of faith because it is better to stand in the deep with His favor, & blessings surrounding us than in the shallow waters, on our own two feet using our own strength.
You see the shallow waters are meant to teach others but the deep waters are to teach YOU! It is where we have a divine encounter with God. It is in these places God does great things abundantly, extending mercy, showing His goodness.  It is in the deep we can tell others..

Image result for scripture about god seeing you
This message resonated in me since I am in a wilderness.  It isn't a place I would originally choose to be.  But if this is a place I need to be in so that the Lord can empty me, so that He can step into my wholes of my life and fill them with His strength, providing a way in the wasteland, then I say the same thing Simon said in Luke 5:5 "But because you say, I will".
What situation are you going through that you do not want to be in?  If it meant you were to be in that situation so that can God empty you, so that He could use you as a platform to bring His name glory would you be more willing to invest again?

Would you be willing to except the fact that even though you are not in control, God IS?  

I have to trust that no matter what season of life I am in; regardless of the lesson that is being taught,  

God sees, God hears and God WILL DELIVER!!


Saturday, January 7, 2017

Books for 2017

Image result for clipart of books

~I am in the process of compiling a list of books to read for 2017.... I went to facebook and asked what good books others have read to get ideas. I got a lot of suggestions; although I tend to read Christian Fiction (it is my favorite) I do want to read other genres.  With that being said,  I read my first book of the year last night.  The book was entitled "the Language of Flowers" by Vanessa Diffenbaugh

Image result for the language of flowers        NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER
"The Victorian language of flowers was used to convey romantic expressions: honeysuckle for devotion, asters for patience, and red roses for love. But for Victoria Jones, it’s been more useful in communicating mistrust and solitude. After a childhood spent in the foster-care system, she is unable to get close to anybody, and her only connection to the world is through flowers and their meanings. Now eighteen and emancipated from the system with nowhere to go, Victoria realizes she has a gift for helping others through the flowers she chooses for them. But an unexpected encounter with a mysterious stranger has her questioning what’s been missing in her life. And when she’s forced to confront a painful secret from her past, she must decide whether it’s worth risking everything for a second chance at happiness." ~Barnes & Nobble

The past can influence the way we handle relationships in the present.  We can choose to let it impact us in a negative or positive way. While reading this I questioned the characters actions and behaviors; but realized the importance of not judging too quickly in how others face life challenges.  We can't possibly fathom the road that each of us walk.

Our past can have a stronghold on us that enables us to grow.  Sometimes our behaviors and actions, our habits, our pain comes from the root of these strongholds; and sometimes we may not be aware of how it affects us.  I myself have struggled with making peace with my past and I can assure you that the process was difficult, but it produced a harvest of peace & righteousness.

Forgiveness was another topic that got me thinking as well!!  I confess,  I have  missed wonderful opportunities, or wasted too much time not forgiving someone.. But seriously, if we can think of it on the terms of helping ourselves.. we can look at it in a whole new perspective. The time that is wasted on the lack of forgiveness is so painful.  It isn't easy but it frees ourselves to move forward. We are running a race that is hard, so if we are able to throw aside the weight and sin which entangles us, and makes the race easier to endure than I leave the question; Why NOT?    
A few books I will be reading are:
"Wounded by God's People" by Anne Graham Lotz
"The Beauty of Broken" by Elisa Morgan"
"Unashamed" by Christine Caine
"All the Light We Can Not See" by
Anthony Doerr"
"Fools Rush In" by Janice Thompson
"Magnolia Story" by Chip & Joanna G

**NOTE**  If you know of a good book please let me know? It might make my list for 2017!!  Thanks~

Sunday, January 1, 2017

Happy New Year

                          Happy New Year!!!!

Well the new year is here! And.. like I promised I worked on my goals for this upcoming year. But first I want to share an activity we did last night while waiting for the arrival of 2017.

We met at our friends house and had lots of food and played games! Right before the New Year we sat around and wrote out on index cards if we had any mistakes, regrets, anger, bitterness or something we hadn't asked forgiveness or forgiven someone from. We took a moment and wrote it out and one by one we threw the index cards in the fire, symbolically of letting go that thing that held us up in 2016.

Too many times we allow these negative feelings to entangle us. In Hebrews 12:1 it says

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us"

Again this is what I am doing as I move ahead this year. I'm forgetting the old and looking forward to the new... Isaiah 43:18~
With that said the goals I have set, for myself, for this year are as follows: 

                           Goals for 2017

~Study my Bible daily

~Memorize the book of James

~Memorize the verses from 2016

~Share the gospel with others

~Communicate with Jesus daily

~Grow deeper with Mike

~Forgive quickly

~Help boys find their first place & help them       furnish it 

~Help the boys move

~Work on my relationship with Lyvvie

~Get a truck to pull camper

~Go camping twice

~Get passports

~Go on a cruise

~Read 35 books

~Lose weight

~Get on a better schedule

~Journal & Blog better

~Be on time

~Get organized 

~Do creative & productive things

~Be a better steward of my time

~Restart the Dave Ramsey Financial Peace

~Write letters (snail mail) to my nephew &            friends